Response #1: from Rabbinic Intern Joyce Reinitz:
Dear Concerned Student: In the Jewish tradition, we dearly value the sanctity of life, and so we give a great deal of thought to a circumstance such as yours. From the way you ask your question I can see that you also have been thinking a lot about your dilemma.

Your question has several parts that I would like to address. You mention the stress and strain on your family and your fear that your parents are 'going to kill you'. It is very natural to be fearful of your parents' reactions to your situation, but I would greatly encourage you to find a way to speak to them about your condition. Perhaps there is a teacher, rabbi, or some trusted adult who could help you to speak with them. Family life is greatly valued in the Jewish tradition and I am certain that you can find some resources in your Jewish community that can be helpful to you and your parents in this difficult time. One of our Ten Commandments is to "Honor your Father and Mother" and I think that in your situation, this would mean that you find a way to talk openly and as honestly as you can with them. With regard to abortion, Rabbis of all Jewish denominations, from the most traditional to the most liberal, do recommend abortion when pregnancy poses a physical threat to the mother's life. The earliest Rabbis who wrote the Mishnah and Talmud (the basis for our laws) established that the physical well being of a woman was more important than the life of an unborn fetus. The rationale for this according to Rashi, a great Jewish commentary and other well-known Rabbis, is that a fetus is not considered a person until its birth.

Even though you say that your parents are going to kill you, it doesn't seem that it is your physical health that is endangered by this pregnancy. The harm is more emotional, psychological and developmental. Rabbis differ in their opinions regarding abortion when the mother suffers psychological harm. I agree with the Rabbis (both Reform and Conservative) who view that abortion is justifiable when the continuation of a pregnancy would cause severe psychological harm and/or physical harm to the mother. I feel that the Jewish principle of pikuah nefesh, preserving life, extends to circumstances such as yours. The anguish and stress that you and your parents might suffer by the continuation of this pregnancy, and the irreparable psychological and emotional damage you might incur certainly make abortion a permissible choice. I suggest that you examine your own feelings about abortion and seriously explore all your options. Again, a trusted adult or trained counselor would be enormously helpful in sorting this out, and it is of utmost importance that you act quickly. You ask a very important question when you ask if God will understand. The Torah tells us that God is gracious and compassionate and forgiving. Throughout all the writings of our tradition, is the recognition that humans make mistakes. It is through our mistakes that we learn how to be better human beings. Keeping this in mind, Judaism has a concept of teshuvah, which actually translates into English as 'turning'. When we are able to acknowledge our mistakes, and turn to God for help in changing our lives, we then experience God's compassion.

Joyce Reinitz, Rabbinic Intern
Reinitz@hotmail.com

Response #2: from Marc Rudolph, Rabbinic Intern

Dear Concerned Student:
               First of all, being pregnant is very scary for a young woman. Have you told any adults about this yet, or are you keeping this to yourself? Your parents might initially be disappointed in you when you tell them you are pregnant, or they might have some moments of anger toward you. They may feel you let them down, and they may also feel they let you down in some way. Deep down, parents want to know when their children are in pain or trouble, and they want to be able to help them in any way they can. Please consider talking to your parents about this as soon as possible. If you feel you can absolutely not talk to your parents, discuss this with another adult -- a teacher, a counselor, a trusted aunt or uncle. You might also consider talking to clergy. 

The great religions of the world have long grappled with the issue of abortion, but they sometimes come to different conclusions. Jewish law, for example, is more accepting of abortion than is Catholic law. Rabbi Dr. Moshe Zemer, in his book Evolving Halacha, notes that "the Catholic view is that abortion is worse than murder, because murder kills only the body, while abortion condemns the eternal soul, for the fetus is not yet baptized." Consequently, the Catholic view is that abortion is impermissible under all circumstances.

Judaism believes that the soul is immortal and cannot be killed, and we believe that the soul is not tainted by original sin. In fact, each day in our morning prayers we recite the words, "My G-d, the soul with which you endowed me is pure." Therefore, baptism is not a part of the Jewish tradition and we do not worry about the pure soul of a fetus entering heaven in the event of an abortion.

The Mishnah, which is a compilation of laws that tradition tells us has been handed down from Moses, permits abortion at any stage in a pregnancy to save the life of the mother, as long as, during actual childbirth, "the greater part of the child has not come forth." Here is the important point : Although an innocent person may not be killed in order to save the life of another, the fetus is not considered a person. This is according to Rashi, a great Rabbi who lived in the 11th century and who commented on this part of the Mishnah. Rather, the fetus is considered to be a part of the mother. Thus, abortion is not murder, and therapeutic abortions are permitted. Nevertheless, Judaism does not take abortion lightly. Judaism has a great reverence for life, and although the embryo or fetus are not considered lives, they are potential lives and therefore we must be very careful when considering abortion.

When considering a "therapeutic abortion" we can consider the effects of a pregnancy on both the mother's physical and emotional health. Fred Rosner and Moshe Tendler, in the book Practical Medical Halachah state that "the sole indication for termination of a pregnancy in Jewish Law is a threat to the mother's physical or mental health that endangers her life " (p. 33). They give the example of a woman's "genuine" threat to commit suicide as a compelling reason to permit abortion for reasons of mental health. This would be considered a "strict" interpretation of the law. Many rabbinic authorities have a broader interpretation of what constitutes a reason to permit an abortion on the grounds of mental health. These rabbis permit abortion if carrying through a pregnancy would be detrimental to the mental health of the mother, even if the damage to mental health is not life threatening. 

Finally, you mention that your family would be unable to handle this financially. Having an abortion because of financial considerations is considered a "non-therapeutic" abortion by the authorities who I have consulted, and would therefore not be covered under our previous discussion. However, to the extent that financial problems could cause severe mental anguish, I would think that this also needs to be considered. I cannot possibly tell you whether, in your particular situation, an abortion would be permitted or prohibited by Jewish law. Therefore, I really can't give you permission to have an abortion, or tell you that you should not have one. I have tried to give you some of the thinking on this matter, but every person and circumstance is unique and all factors need to be considered. By writing to me you have begun a process that will lead you to a decision. 

I pray that you will be able to talk to your parents about this, and that you, along with them, will get the proper medical and spiritual guidance that you need to make the appropriate choice. If you do this, and then you decide to have an abortion, I'm certain that G-d would understand.

Marc Rudolph, AJR Bio-Ethics Rabbinic Intern
mrudolph@valinet.com

Question:
Dear Teacher: "My oldest brother is infertile; it's a big secret so don't use my name in your article. He and his wife want to use some of my sperm to make a baby
Do you think that ethically they have to tell the baby about whom the dad is some day to prevent him marrying a relative? Do you think I should do this, would it be a mitzvah?"

Answer from Paul Bender, AJR Rabbinical Student
Dear Younger Brother,
What a complicated situation you have been placed into. Your brother and his wife have not been able to have a child and have asked you to donate some of your sperm to be used in artificial donor insemination, so that they can have a baby. It must be very painful for them not to be able to have a child to share their lives with and you probably have sensed their disappointment and anguish. They have naturally asked you to keep this absolutely secret in order to spare the child the grief of gossip. Of course, it is easy to understand their desire to have donor sperm from a close relative since the child will physically look like them as much as is genetically possible. But you have not mentioned in your letter whether the three of you have discussed this plan with your parents. If your parents are not aware of this situation, you need to talk to them and seek their advice right away. If, for some reason that you have not mentioned, your parents are not available, the three of you should seek the advice of a family counselor before going ahead. There are many questions that you need to think about before you make this decision, and for all of them you will need to have the help and guidance of your parents and/or a qualified family counselor.

We Jews see children as one of God's greatest blessings. Having children is more than a blessing, according to Jewish law, it is the first mitzvah (which means commandment, not good deed as is often thought) in the Bible, "Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28; 9:1,7; 35:11). By donating sperm to help your bother and his wife have a baby, are you helping your brother to do a mitzvah and fulfill his obligations? No, since your brother is physically unable to father children, he is exempt from the mitzvah to father children (Elliot Dorff Chpt 2 p 37, in "Life and Death Responsibilities in Jewish Biomedical Ethics" Ed. Aaron Mackler, 2000).

Jewish law has also asked the question of whether a man has fulfilled the mitzvah, even if not obligated to do so, if his wife has a child by donor sperm insemination. It has been decided that he has not, since he is not the biological father of the child (ibid., pg. 43). Jewish law only permits artificial insemination when a wife's husband donates the sperm, (A.I.H.) (ibid., p29). There are a number of medical problems, which prevent fertilization, but can be solved using the husband's semen. I am sure that your brother and his wife have already looked into these. Jewish law does not permit D.I. (artificial fertilization by a donor other than the husband), but because many children have been conceived in this way, the legal problems which result from this method have been discussed (ibid.,chp 2).

The questions of major concern to Jewish law are 1) whether donor insemination is considered to be adultery, producing a child who is a mamzer, (a non-Jew who is forbidden, and whose descendents are forbidden for ten generations to marry a Jew), and 2) the possibility for incest in the next generation. Most Rabbinic authorities have concluded that donor insemination should not be considered adultery since no sexual intercourse occurs, and therefore there is no illicit sexual relationship. So, the child born by donor insemination is not considered illegitimate and a mamzer.

The second concern, which you raised in your letter, regarding unintentional incest is not likely to be a problem in your situation, because even if the children were never informed that you are their biological father, it is generally considered socially unacceptable for first cousins to marry in America. Let us discuss the issues of family relationship and of secrecy. Although there has been much Rabbinical discussion and writing about the topic of artificial insemination and other modern fertilization methods, I have not found Rabbinic decisions (responsas) specifically on the donation of sperm by a close relative. A case could be made for this, since it is related to the situation where a man was expected to marry the widow of his dead brother (called levirate marriage) in order to provide a child to carry on his brother's name (Deu. 25:5-9; Ruth 4:7). However, since polygamy was abolished, Jewish law has decided over a thousand years ago, that this mitzvah should no longer be practiced.

Also, your brother, although infertile, is, thank G-d, alive and well. You and your parents and/or a counselor should consider the possible future problems that you could face by fathering your brother's child. Will you be able to look at the child as your nephew, rather than your son? What if the child was told, or found out later that you were his biological father, and wanted a different relationship with you? What if your brother and his wife divorced or your brother died? What if you felt the child was ill-treated? What if you and your future wife were unable to have children? Although most states have laws regarding inheritance rights in donor insemination cases, these normally relate to anonymous donors, not close family members. Many complications can arise from this situation alone.

One of the most difficult problems your family will have to face, if your brother and sister-in-law conceive a child with your help, is the issue of secrecy. Many families using donor insemination do not tell the child how he was conceived. However they run the great risk of the loss of their child's trust, and the pressure of living a lie, which could be revealed at any point. Experts agree that the wisest plan is to be open and share the truth with the child, as is done in cases of adoption.

Your situation is more complicated because you and your future children will have an ongoing relationship with the child resulting from the donor insemination of your sperm. In addition, it is possible that while your brother is now grateful for your help, later on, he may resent your ability to have fathered the child he could not. Your brother is asking you to make a life altering decision affecting many people, and it is unfair that he expects you to do this without extensive support. Your family should consider seeking professional counseling to be able to make the best decision in this complex situation.

Paul Bender, AJR Rabbinical Student
Benderpe@aol.com

Question:
Dear Teacher: My older sister is pregnant with multiple fetuses due to the medication she took to get pregnant. Now they think all the babies will die if some aren't terminated first. Can a Jewish person choose to do that-kill some so that others will live?

Response from Lynnda Targan, AJR Rabbinical Student
Dear Concerned Student:
Thank you for your very thoughtful letter. I hear the concern in your question, and I will try to answer you in a way that offers the most amount of comfort to you in contemplating this very sensitive issue.

The creation of life was G-d's crowning achievement in the six-day process of Creation at the beginning of the Torah. The very first commandment G-d speaks to humanity after their creation is, "Be fruitful and multiply." (Genesis 1:28) As a result, great value is placed on the creation of life, and in creating a Jewish family. It would be wonderful, if all a couple had to do was desire a child, and nature took its course, but alas, infertility is a big problem for many Jewish couples. The good news is, that in this day and age, there are a multitude of technologies that can help an infertile couple realize their dream of starting a family. At the same time, many ethical questions may be raised, which can be difficult to resolve, as a result of this recent technology. Your sister's case poses such a dilemma.

J. David Bleich writes, "The taking of any life, even that of a fetus, is clearly forbidden by Jewish law." (Bleich, Contemporary Halachic Problems I, New York, 1977, 326-329), While great value is placed on the sanctity of human life, there has been a lot of discussion through the ages, about the particular value of the fetus. "What is fundamental, is that halacha (Jewish law), explicitly recognizes that the fetus is not a viable being while inside the mother's womb, since its life can not be sustained outside its natural shelter there." (Aaron L. Mackler, editor, Life and Death Responsibilities, p. 223). There are few sources to cite that speak directly to the issue of abortion within Judaism, but typically, Exodus 21:22-25 is understood to mean that the life of the mother (later interpreted to include physical and emotional well-being), is held in higher esteem than that of the unborn child. The term, nefesh adam, (literally any human person) is taken to exclude the fetus in the womb, for the fetus in the womb is not a person until it is born. (David M. Feldman, Marital Relations, Birth Control, and Abortion in Jewish Law, citing Rashi and Me'iri, p. 255)

The famous medieval philosopher and doctor, Maimonides, termed an unborn fetus, one which posed a threat to the mother, a rodef, or pursuer, and argued that even up to the moment that the head of the baby, or its greater part has emerged during delivery, the mother's life takes precedence.

Now, how do these Rabbinic responses relate to your sister's particular case, where the fetuses are, in terms of their halachic status, equal in status?

When fertility drugs become necessary to use in treating infertility, production of multiple ova, as in the case of your sister, can occur. Though you did not ask about your sister specifically, it is understood that a pregnancy involving multiple fetuses may present serious danger to the mother. In addition, beyond a certain number, there is little likelihood that any of the fetuses will survive to term. To avoid such complications, gynecologists recommend reducing the number of fetuses early in the pregnancy, to no more than three fetuses. The modern halachic discussions about pregnancy reduction are limited to situations, where without intervention, or pregnancy reduction, all of the fetuses would die. The fetuses, thus become rodifim of one another. But, this is a matter of some controversy among the various Rabbinic authorities.

The most authoritative pronouncement with regard to pregnancy reduction is that of Rabbi Shlomoh Zalman Auerbac, who is quoted as saying that he is "inclined to permit" pregnancy reduction in appropriate circumstances. The same conclusion is reached by Rabbi Yitzchack Zilberstein and Rabbi Joshua Ze'ev Zand, that the procedure of pregnancy reduction can be sanctioned if the mother's life is in danger, and/or if all of the fetuses would die without pregnancy reduction intervention. (J. David Bleich, Bioethical Dilemmas/ A Jewish Perspective, pgs. 270-275).

This is justified on the basis that a fetus is not viable outside of the mother's body. Pregnancy reduction is advocated to ensure that some of the fetuses would survive and become viable. Without medical intervention, as you describe in your sister's situation, all of the fetuses would perish. Such an outcome is not consistent with the Jewish valuing of human life, and G-d's commandment to "be fruitful and multiply."

Your sister took fertility medication because she really wanted very much to have a family. Yet, at the same time, the medication created factors that pose risks, which must be medically resolved. Nevertheless, making a decision to do so, necessarily causes anxiety about doing the right thing. In my opinion, which represents the liberal stream of Judaism, but is also supported by traditional Jewish sources, such as the ones cited above, your sister should proceed with pregnancy reduction. The procedure will both lower the mother's health risk brought on by her carrying multiple fetuses, and facilitate the viability of the other fetuses, so that it/they, may be brought to term. As the new life/lives come into this world, the ultimate value of human life will be upheld. Good luck to you and your family in the coming times ahead.

Lynnda Targan, AJR  Rabbinical Student
LTargan@aol.com

Question:
"Dear Teacher:
My sister is a lesbian and she's planning to buy some sperm from a bank to get pregnant and have her own baby without a man (she's not in a relationship with a woman right now either.) We were wondering if it's Jewishly ethical to use artificial insemination to get pregnant since there are so many children already in the world and being born every day who don't have anybody to raise them and anyway, is a single Jewish woman who never marries responsible for reproducing herself?"

Response from Rabbi Justin Lewis, just graduated senior (mazel tov!)
Dear Concerned Student:
The essence of your thoughtful question is: may a single Jewish woman choose to have a child?
As you point out, Jewish tradition says that there is a mitzvah (commandment) to reproduce ("be fruitful and multiply", Genesis 1:28) but it does not apply to women (Shulchan Arukh EH 1:13). A possible reason is that giving birth is always a risk to the mother's life and health. A married woman may choose to take that risk to help her husband do the mitzvah. A single woman would be taking the risk without a Jewish reason.

On the other hand, a knowledgeable Orthodox woman, Dvora Ross, has written a responsum in favour of artificial insemination for single women (in Hebrew, in _Jewish Legal Writings by Women_, Jerusalem: Urim, 1998). In halakhah (Jewish law), people who are not commanded to do something can still take on the obligation voluntarily. Over the centuries, Ross argues, women have taken on the obligation of reproduction.

According to several great rabbis, women are commanded to have children, as part of a human obligation to populate the world. Even though "be fruitful and multiply" does not apply to them, "the earth was created to be populated" (Isaiah 45:18) does apply. (Tosafot, Bava Batra 13a; Magen Avraham, Shulchan Arukh OH 153:9.)

Finally, according to halakhah a woman may demand a divorce because her husband is sterile (Shulchan Arukh EH 154:6). That is, she has a right to insist on having a child.

Since writing this responsum, Dvora Ross, a single woman, has had a child through sperm donation, and her choice has been accepted in her Orthodox community in Israel.

Your points about how many children are already in the world, and about adoption, really apply to married couples as much as single women. Perhaps anyone who cares about the world should stop having children, by "artificial" means or any other. Of course, the most obvious Jewish answer to such a thought is "no we shouldn't!" Having children is a mitzvah, definitely for men and perhaps also for women; it is a major Jewish value for everyone. (See http://www.ccarnet.org/cgi-bin/respdisp.pl?file=132&year=arr, and part I of http://www.ccarnet.org/cgi-bin/respdisp.pl?file=3&year=5758.)

As for worries about overpopulation, a common answer is that our population has already been diminished by the six million Jews murdered during the Holocaust, and the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren they would have had.

On the other hand, there is a halakhah (Jewish law) that during years of famine or hardship, people should have a minimum amount of sex, if any (Shulchan Arukh OH 240:12 and 574:4). The purpose may be population control in a time of limited resources. We can argue that today, in a world of limited resources, there is an obligation for everyone to practice population control.

A more common explanation of this halakhah is that we should reduce our pleasure when other people are suffering. Perhaps today, with so much poverty in the world, we should deny ourselves the pleasure of having children, especially because this self-denial would help to reduce population growth.

There are different views of how severe overpopulation is today; see http://schwartz.enviroweb.org/popcrsis.html, http://www.populationaction.org/why_pop/whyfactfig.htm, http://overpop.org/sound4.htm, "People in the Balance" in "Introductory Documents" at http://popenvironment.org, http://www.kzpg.com/Lib/Pages/Papers/bartlett.html, and http://www.alphalink.com.au/~collard/articles/abge012.htm. In any case, the halakhah about times of famine makes an exception for people who have not yet had any children; they are allowed to try to get pregnant.

Adoption is highly praised in Jewish tradition, and according to some teachings it fulfills the mitzvah of reproduction. You can find teachings about adoption at http://www.adopting.org/jewish.html and http://www.ccarnet.org/cgi-bin/respdisp.pl?file=63&year=arr.

On the other hand, although there have always been orphans and unwanted children, Judaism has never said that anyone is obliged to adopt, even a couple without children. Adoption is hard. Today, adoptive parents go through long delays and huge expenses in order to raise children who often come to them with physical or emotional problems. Jewish tradition sees adoption as a wonderful act of kindness (gemilut chasadim), like visiting sick people or volunteering in a homeless shelter. We have to do acts of kindness, but which ones we do, and how much, is up to us.

So for every issue in your question, there are good Jewish arguments on both sides. I invite you to think through the arguments and draw your own conclusions. One thing is clear, though: you cannot honestly tell your sister that her plan is Jewishly unacceptable. Although you may be stricter with yourself, there is certainly room within Jewish tradition for her to have a child.

Whatever you conclude, I hope that you will support your sister and her child -- your niece or nephew -- if she does make this choice. They will benefit from your love in a world where being a mother, or a child, is challenging for anyone.

Blessings,
Justin Lewis, Graduating Senior, The Academy for Jewish Religion
jcjlewis@chass.utoronto.ca