CROSS COUNTRY # 18
Got OUR Seal of Approval

Rabbi Goldie Milgram and Barry Bub, MD
 

Barry: From fresh sunny spring weather in Cleveland, through stormy gale forced winds in Nebraska, over snow flurried mountain passes in the Rockies, across scorching desert in Arizona - now this. We have arrived in Carmel, California. Till this point, it has seemed as if spring has been following us across the country. But here it’s foggy, grey and cold. Goldie is out with a rabbi friend talking rabbi business. I have decided to give them a wide berth opting instead to light a fire in the fireplace of our motel room, watch TV, type, and keep warm (in reverse order.)

If Jerome was the antidote we needed to Sedona, then Santa Barbara was the antidote to Vegas. SB is like a garden of Eden, with Shangri-La in the hills behind. The entire town is spotlessly clean, they not only have signs warning to pick up after your dog, they provide you with biodegradable plastic gloves in dispensers in the park. It felt as if I was in one gigantic flower garden. Happy.

Nevertheless, I went to the botanical gardens with our new found Jewish renewal friend, Rick, while Goldie had the day off to prepare for her next workshop. We ran into Goldie on our return. She was returning from Kinko’s where she had gone to do some photocopying. Oh, the reason she was carrying an armful of new dresses was because of this irresistible sale etc. etc. Needs them for high holy days at Kripalu etc.etc. [Goldie: Blessings upon Wayne Dossick for recommending Tienda Ho....found reasonable, beautiful funky regal rebbie threads...]

Barry Rick is a delightful man. He quit his job as a fireman a few months ago, and like me, is uncertain of the next step. G’s comment about his resignation: "Burnt out." didn’t phase him. He took her contra dancing that night, while I meditated in front of the TV.

Goldie: The contra folk dancing was on a "sprung floor"...new concept for me, an old wooden floor laid so that each step becomes a bounce....it was like flying into the arms of dance partners, whirling and reeling into a seamless dance of joy! People had come in from many states for the event and some were "calling" dances they had written themselves....one person noted upon seeing my kippah: "Shouldn’t you be praying?" To which my response was: "I am!"

[A favorite quote to be found in one of Yitzhak Buxbaum’s books is from the Besht: "Dancing is to lift up holy sparks" also he notes that "the Baal Shem Tov used to dance to attain religious enthusiasm (hitlahavut) and communion with Gd (d’vekut). He taught his followers that "The dances of the Jew before his Creator are prayers....[his great-grandson Nachman of Bratzlav] believed that to dance in prayer was a sacred command, and he composed a prayer which he recited before dancing."]

Barry: We left Santa Barbara the next day feeling we had left behind an old friend. I was reminded of our meeting with Patch Adams a year or two ago. He pointed out to us that even though he has few assets, he considers himself a wealthy man because he has so many friends all over the world.. I can understand his point. I know someone who spent several years and several million dollars building the ultimate house. It burnt down the week before they were ready to move in.

Immediately out of Santa Barbara the vegetation changed - still beautiful and interesting, but more grassland and drier. We drove up the coast past charming little towns, choosing instead to head straight for Big Sur. We skipped the Madonna Inn and then Hearst Castle at San Simeon.

Umberto Ecco had written a scathing piece comparing the garish Inn to the incredibly poor taste in the much more expensive Castle.

On the way to Big Sur our cell phone rang. It was the manager of the hotel in Phoenix responding to my complaint about the fumes of hydrogen sulphur (rotten eggs)coming from the shower.

Goldie called her beloved colleague Leah Novick in Carmel only to hear a message that she was away for the long weekend.

We pull into the famous retreat center at Esalen, near Big Sur where we are hoping to spend the night. We check out the hot tubs perched high on cliffs which "oversea" the Pacific. And who emerges from one to greet us? A gleaming Rabbi Leah Novick. And the hot tubs are reaking of sulphur fumes. Here people are paying to soak in this stuff?!

(Goldie: Among the important discoveries on this trip is that as soon as we got west of Nebraska the various skin ailments that have been plaguing me ceased. The sulphur baths were an extra boon - no chlorine or bromine which have been keeping me out of swimming pools and spas.)

Esalen was an exciting place to be in the sixties. It was a major center for Gestalt then. Now the programs are more eclectic. We did not attend a workshop, choosing just to spend one memorable day as paid guests, soaking up the beauty, the pool, hot tubs, and good food.

Goldie: Esalen: Profusion of huge succulents in flower, a live piano and cello concert after lunch where everyone just sprawls out on pillows to listen, a long multi-tiered water-fall runs through the center of everything, ........they did manage to shock me, one option is being massaged under the sunshine by a nude masseur, also meat and veggie are served and smoking is allowed on the premises! ( Barry: And wine and beer at dinner. Much more permissive atmosphere here in the west coast tradition I guess.) We opted to sleep in a dorm room, each of us were assigned to our own top bunk with two strange guys below us......friendly snorers....tight quarters.....]

We left reluctantly heading to Carmel on the Monterey peninsula. This area is noted for its famous golf course sold to Japanese in 1990 for 850 million. Then Santa Cruz for G’s next workshop.

But not before going on a hike in the canyon at Esalen. Here we came across a big snake not two feet from me. Goldie said it was harmless - she always says that when the snake is near me, but runs like hell when it’s near her. This was the fourth snake I have almost run into on our journey. The Arches National Park, Boulder hiking the mountain, Santa Barbara in the botanical garden, and now here .This is getting very spooky. I decided to carry a staff. This sets me off thinking of the medical insignia of a staff with a snake encircling it. And like a snake eating its tale, this leads to more thinking and causes me to lie awake at 4 am wondering is this a sign from my buddy upstairs that I must return to the practice of medicine.

Barry: This is as good a time as any to point out that this journey has many dimensions to it. Seeing America, understanding more about the country we live in is just one. The others that we can identify are: getting to know ourselves and each other better, meeting new friends and old, Goldie teaching in various places, scoping out a possible community for us to live in several years from now, and for me to explore what I am going to be doing professionally once this journey is over.

It’s not much fun doing medicine in America at present, and when we move, getting licenced in another state can be a major, if not impossible task as a foreign medical graduate. Besides I prefer the counseling and therapy aspect.

Goldie returned from dinner with Leah’s recommendation that I consider a masters in family therapy. So if anyone knows a good place to study it in the NY vicinity I’d appreciate hearing from you.

Goldie: Such a "m’chayah receiving mentoring from a mature woman colleague who I love and whose work I so deeply respect ... unforgettable. We spoke at length about how to work with and select rabbinical students, how does one teach the use of one’s body, mind and soul to bring God energy and connection through a community? Sometimes I wonder about my sanity after receiving contact from rebbes or souls long gone to the next world....she illustrates how this is a form of blessing, a healthy remarkable gift to receive (phewww...).....We explore and share for hours over an exceptional meal at Casablanca under the stars and an outdoor heater.