CROSS COUNTRY #29 The Barber of Seattle

Barry on the subject of: RAIN

Ah, the " if only's." I've counseled many people over the years about "if only's."

Lately I've been flooded by them -
If only it wasn't so cloudy you could see the incredible mountain ranges.
If only it wasn't so cold you could swim in the lake.
If only it wasn't raining we could go to the park.

You may notice a that a common thread runs through these comments based on the fact that it's been drizzling or pouring virtually non stop for the past week.

So my daughter Juliette who moved here 6 months ago, protests vigorously: "But Dad, this is so unusual. The weather here is normally terrific and sunny." I'm tempted to believe her except for three reasons that give me pause.

1. She is the same person who for fourteen years has protested vigorously that she did not take on our obnoxious neighbor. After he moved in, he took this non-descript, inconspicuous wooden fence and painted it fluorescent white. One day he arrived home to fine it gone.

Simultaneously, another neighbor found a fence artfully arranged on his driveway. Two and two made Juliette. She denied it vigorously, assuming a particularly deadpan expression. I am quite proud of her ingenuity, perhaps she'll own up one day.

2. At lunch today, I asked our waitress when she thought the rain would stop. I must have touched a nerve. She turned to me, glared, and spat out: "Never!"

3. Headlines in the Herald today: "Skies spur chorus of 'Rain, rain go away.' They went on to report that a local outdoor hot dog vendor's business was sagging because there were no customers. Someone called Sunrise travel agency, booked a ticket to Reno and left today. He said he was afraid of rusting. Interestingly, they reported that rainfall was about average.

What really puzzles me is why I would come across a store that sells only sunglasses.

Anyway, we drive about 50 miles into the Cascade mountains, to a place called "Index". Even in the mountains, we can't see the mountains. Index has twice the rainfall of Seattle. In other words it rains all the time. It seems to me that we are in a cloud, even though we're not that high. We hike the forest alongside a swift flowing river of mint green white water. The force of the water is very powerful and two years ago a little girl was swept to her death in seconds when she fell in. I'm amazed that salmon have the strength to swim upstream.

We are in fern and moss heaven. The ground is covered by moss. So are the limbs and bark of the trees. Also the stones which obviously have not rolled in a long time.

We are soaked. Seattle is like a desert compared to this. Clearly a case of  the glass being half empty rather than half full.

MORE SEATTLE

The Barbershop

In a working class neighborhood which means that houses here sell for under $400,000 (my definition.) Vinny the van needs a wash and Barry needs a haircut. Vinny loses.

The barbershop is ancient. The 5 seats are constructed of porcelain, stainless steel and leather. On the mirrors are pasted the names Ken, Jim and Bob. I don't know if Jim and Bob are alive or dead but they aren't here.

Ken looks like an ex-marine and the man sitting in the chair has one of those military ¼ inch all round haircuts. Ken hasn't begun yet!

Ken: "I think a #2."
Guy in chair: 'Yep, a #2."
Ken changes the head on the clipper, presumably to a number 2. He proceeds to lower the length of the hair to about an 1/8th of an inch lawnmower style.
The next guy looks like an overweight ex-wrestler. He is bald except for a slither of gray hair around, and just touching his ears.
Ken: "I think just clean it up."
Guy #2 in chair: "Yep."
Ken clips away about 1 gram of hair and his customer looks vastly improved.
I look for a way to escape. I have just realized the difference between a barber and hairstylist and I haven't been to a barber since my childhood. Too late. My turn.
Ken looks at me with my 2 month crop with some distaste. I expect him to call me to attention and reprimand me. Instead he says: "Pretty long, hey?"
Barry: "Yep."
Ken: "Take it down all round?"
Barry: "Actually just a trim, my wife likes it long." (That's right, blame Goldie.)
Ten minutes later I pay my $8.25 and feeling air hitting parts of my neck that haven't seen daylight (not that there's much in Seattle) in years, I leave freshly shorn.