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| Whether a brit milah,
covenant of circumcision, for a male or a brit bat,
covenant for a girl, this offering builds upon the traditional ritual
with warm, inclusive language and community participation.
[For help
selecting a name,
click here] Note: In the event of an adoption, one of my favorite rabbinic duties is meeting a mother and child at the mikveh, pool for ritual immersion, and there chanting softly with my colleagues on the bet din [required religious court of three capable witnesses] the phrase of purity and rebirthing: "Elohai neshama sheh natata bi tehorah hi, G*d the soul you have placed in me, she is pure." This immersion can be done at a mikveh facility, in an ocean, river, or land [not standing water, must be "living waters.] It is important to give mother and child time to adjust to the water, whenever possible I gather two women rabbi colleagues for the sweetness of all of us being present at the mikveh moment, males rabbis have to wait outside. When the mother is ready, if she blows gently into the baby's face before immersing, the baby will squnch up its face, closing mouth and eyes reflexively and so not swallow or inhale any water. This works incredibly well, resulting in a baby that finds the mikveh a treat, not a treatment. All of the baby must go under for the immersion to count. Then the blessing for immersion is recited. The child's sacred Jewish name will appear on the conversion document, called a shtar gerut tinok[et]. A formal naming and if a male, bris, "circumcision" in front of friends and family can then be held [I try to do this the very same day] at home, and/or in synagogue. A Jewish wedding and covenanting ceremony both traditionally begin with the same verse: [f] Brukha haba-ah b’shem Adonai I teach a chant to the group based on this verse and add a second verse with the child's Hebrew name: Brukha ha ba-ah _____________[name of the baby] An opening chant is important to help bring in the sense of sacred space and sacred time for the group, to help everyone get settled from all the socializing and be ready to welcome this child into our people. Those gathered form the walls of the well of community, carrying the precious brimming fluid feeling of spirit of the presence of G*d. Rabbi to baby: Little one, today reflects the joy of this family at your arrival and their commitment to raise you within the covenant of the Jewish people with G*d. Rabbi to group: The minyan of a person’s life includes those who are not able to be here in body, though we know their spirit is sending blessings at this joyful time. Please call out the names of those whose spirit we invite to be with us today. Rabbi to group: Shver zolzein a yid, it is difficult to be a Jew (Yiddish expression), now as ever. This identity requires courage, creativity and the conviction of the importance of leading a mitzvah centered life. Important to our mitzvah today is the sandek, the G*dparent. In Judaism this is a very formal role, the sandek will raise this child in the ways of our people, if G*d forbid anything happens to his/her parent(s). Will ____________________ please come forward to sit in the chair of
the sandek. Sandek[et]: Yes, I so commit. Rabbi: May you never need to take him/her permanently into your home and yet may you grow as close with __as though you did. Through you may this child experience many facets of the face of G*d, as I know you will through your time with her. [Mother pass the child to the sandek, if child is willing, otherwise sandek gives baby a kiss or hug or touch] Rabbi [if this is an adoption] People associate labor with birthing. The labor involved in adoption is tremendous as well. From inner work to paper work, to the perils of application, preparation, overseas negotiations, and the sheer anxiety of anticipation, the Hebrew word for work, avodah, meaning “sacred service” has characterized every step of the journey toward parenthood. It is a joy to see you attain this shehecheyanu, point of gratitude, in your life. Rabbi: Your parent(s) will now tell a brief history of your family of origin and the process of bringing you into his/her/their life. Parent: Rabbi: Your ____________ (relative) will now tell a brief history of your new family. Repeat the opening chant to transition into the covenantal ritual portion. Let us all rise as we life the cup of wine. Would _______________ (parent) please repeat after me: “N’varekh et Eyn HaHayyim asher kidshani b’mitzvotav v’tzivani l’hakhnees yaldati b’vrit avraham v’sarah.” Let us bless the Source of Life that guides us in holiness through the mitzvah of ushering this child into the covenant of Abraham and Sarah. Rabbi: Male and female alike, children are the precious fruit of the
vine of the wandering Jews. We welcome you by offering a sip of wine,
symbolizing our prayer that you will have a strong, healthy, joyful life.
May the covenant travel through all our sons and daughters. For you, let Ezekiel’s blessing be fulfilled: “In your blood live, in your blood live!” Barukh atah adonai eloheynu melech ha olam borei p'ri ha gahfen. Blessed is the fruit of the vine. [give wine to baby, dip clean hanky in wine for him/her to suck on.] This is the cup of Miriam the prophetess, who helped lead us out of Egypt, raising our spirits with song, continuing Abraham’s tradition of challenging authority and leading our people into abundance, finding water in the desert wherever she would go. In her well we found comfort and wisdom. May your gevurah, strength vitality and joy be complemented by khessed, lovingkindness and an enduring experience of abundance. May you drink deeply form our ancestors’ wells. [give water to baby in same way.] Rabbi: When Abraham and Sarah entered the covenant their Hebrew names were changed to mark this great occasion. Your parent(s) will now speak about your sacred name(s), how it/they were chosen and some hopes as to what you will find in your name. [Optional: Rabbi: For announcing your name, four huppah, bearers will come to life a canopy symbolic of your new home and of the presence of G*d as sukkat shalom, the Shelter of Peace we pray will accompany your days. Mother sits, with baby on lap, huppah is held by hand or pole.] Everyone [Have this on a hand out]: Just as you are part of this covenant, so may you live it through sacred study, healthy relationships and good works to sustain this good world. Leader: May the Source which blessed our ancestors, bless this child, let his/her name be known in Israel, the Jewish people as:______________bar/bat _______________ Everyone: Bless ____________with life, with the ability to live life, to give life, to love life, to choose life. Rabbi: As you are a gift of life to us, so may your life be a source of blessing for others. Leader: I invite all present who are inspired to do so, to offer a blessing for this new Jewish child. [Good to have a few people who prepared for this in advance and then a few spontaneous ones, invite an "ameyn" after each blessing.] If the parent(s) said the shehecheyanu prayer early in the birth/adoption process then it is not repeated here, if they have not yet said it, then this is a wonderful time to do so. It's nice to sing the shehecheyanu to Brahms Lullaby, if you are so inclined. Close with: siman tov and mazel tov and siman tov and mazel tov (3x) Supplement: Taking, Adding, or Changing a Name 1. Using your hands, face and voice, turn to face a friend, mentor or a mirror. 2. Say your every day first name aloud with full body language that expresses how you feel about it. What tone comes out? What does your face and body language say about your name? Invite feedback if you are doing this with someone else. Let them mirror back to you how you look when you say your name. You can do this several times. 2. If you have a familiar name, a nickname that is used, do the same thing. What does your body tell you about this name? 3. If you have a Jewish name, Hebrew or Yiddish or Ladino, do the same thing. What does your body tell you about this name? If you do not, have a Jewish name, hold out your hands as though you do, gesture as though saying one for yourself, how do you feel? What do you know? What do you need? FYI: Customs about naming vary greatly: Sephardim do accepting naming children after living relatives, Ashkenazim do not. There is no law that your Hebrew and English name have to match, not even in their first letter. And you can change your Jewish name - pick a new one, or bump one you don't like into being your middle name and add one in front or the middle. At synagogue have yourself called up for an aliyah with your new name and after Shabbat the rabbi can give you a certificate to this effect. Mazel Tov!
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